What The Hell Am I Doing Here?

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Dept. of Order The Fish
A picture named specialmeat.jpg
Our pal Michael shares his exotic meat experiences with us (no, this is not a gay porn item):

Of some of the offbeat meats, I can remember eating:
* Ostrich - formerly exotic, now available at Fuddrucker's et al. Tasted & texture like lean beef
* Snake - from a street vendor in a market in Seoul. Hard to tell what it was like; it mostly tasted of the sauce and the charcoal grill.
* Horse - entrecôte de cheval in Neuchatel, Switzerland. Like a lean beef steak or venison.
* Venison - a specialty of The Mountain House in Kings Mountain (Woodside), CA, served many ways, most notably in a blackberry reduction sauce.
* Rabbit - especially good spit-roasted at Spiedo in San Mateo, CA.
* Alligator - deep-fried in nuggets, it's like a cross between chicken (:-)) and scallops. Pretty good, actually. Some places serve it broiled or steamed like lobster tail, with melted butter.
* Goat - is much like lamb. Sometimes available in Indian or middle-eastern restaurants here. Also good in a Jamaican/African style curry.
* Dog - I hope this is not too upsetting to some here, and wwe certainly don't have to discuss it, but I have tasted dog, not in SE Asia or Korea, but in nearby Fremont, CA, in a now-defunct Chinese restaurant. I stopped in for takeout dim sum, and among the usual siu mai and har gow and whatnot, there were some mini-sandwiches with a sliced cold meat on a sesame bread that other customers were eating. I inquired politely and was told, "not available". I extemporized with something like, "oh, I get those all the time... never learned the Chinese name". The guy game me a funny look and added them to the order. So when I picked up the order I asked him to point it out on the menu and tell me the Chinese name. He pointed to some Chinese characters and the English legend, "Special Meat Roll". Some time later, I copied down the characters, showed them to a Chinese friend (who also gave me an odd look), and they in fact translate to "special meat", which is the euphemism for dog meat among Chinese abroad in the West.
The meat itself had been cured and was sort of like pickled tongue, on a small Mongolian-style sesame roll. This is northern-style dim sum, usually made with beef or pork.
Ew.

6:24:56 PM leave/read comments []

Dept. of This Could Suck Like A Hoover

A picture named hoover.jpg F.B.I. Scrutinizes Antiwar Rallies. The agency has collected information on demonstrators and has advised local officials to report suspicious activity to counterterrorism squads. By Eric Lichtblau. [New York Times: NYT HomePage]

Holy tutus, Batman! Is J. Edgar back in business?

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has collected extensive information on the tactics, training and organization of antiwar demonstrators and has advised local law enforcement officials to report any suspicious activity at protests to its counterterrorism squads, according to interviews and a confidential bureau memorandum.
....
But some civil rights advocates and legal scholars said the monitoring program could signal a return to the abuses of the 1960's and 1970's, when J. Edgar Hoover was the F.B.I. director and agents routinely spied on political protesters like the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"The F.B.I. is dangerously targeting Americans who are engaged in nothing more than lawful protest and dissent," said Anthony Romero, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union. "The line between terrorism and legitimate civil disobedience is blurred, and I have a serious concern about whether we're going back to the days of Hoover."

And that would suck, because I'm kind of fond of living in a genuinely free country.

6:01:34 PM leave/read comments []

Dept. of Searching Engines

A picture named stephanie.haaser.jpg

For all you folks who've wound up here Googling for Stephanie Haaser's photo, here it is!

Cute, ain't she?

And she kissed a girl!

Too bad it got her suspended.

5:23:52 PM leave/read comments []

Dept. of Warnings

Of course it didn't help when the anonymous official refused to give his name, saying in badly dubbed English, "I don't want to die like a dog, howling in pain! No way is Al-Queda going to find me! I am running! Running! Running for the hills!"

"Oh, and don't panic," he added.

Japan-Terrorism (Kyodo).
Anonymous Japanese public safety officials launch media campaign to calm fears Al Qaeda may be about to strike Tokyo. [Nippon Goro Goro]

4:58:17 PM

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Dept. of "Hey, Let's Use 'Asshat' In A Sentence!"

A picture named CNet_Mao.jpg Just another reminder of c|net's flipping the bird to musicians and music fans.

Maybe if you ask Jim nicely, he'll share his harvester program with you.

Otherwise, kiss it all goodbye.

Vivendi burning MP3.com library to the ground. Vivendi has announced that it's flushing all the music it hosts at MP3.com down the toilet:

...they're not selling the archive, containing more than a million songs by 250,000 artists. As of December 3rd, they're destroying it.
Link
(Thanks, Proclus!) [Boing Boing Blog]

Asshats.

4:04:25 PM leave/read comments []

Dept. of Procto-Haberdashery

At last! The world's best word gets its own website!

There's no telling where some words come from. Like, for instance, who was the genius that one day said "I'm going to invent the word 'fuck' just so people can scream it at each other while driving down the highway."? Well, for the most part, I'm guessing we will never know how some words came into origin. But I have come up with a clearly outlined history of the greatest word ever, along with definitions and a useful synonyms list.

They're doin' da Lord's work over there.

As it turns out, "asshat" comes to us from Sweden, home of such other Scandinavian life-enhancers as ABBA, Volvo, Absolut vodka and of course, Aquavit, a liquor so strong that after a belt or two, you can actually bring yourself to eat lutefisk.

From what I can trace back from archived IRC chats, the term 'asshat' was first used in the large European country of Sweden as an alternative for the word [OE]asshole.[base '] From Sweden, by way of both train and ship, the word found it[base ']s way to the shores of western France, where it was used by a software coder named Louis (LOO-ee) in a telephone conversation with his second cousin in Newfoundland. This great man was responsible for sending this fashionable European word to North America for all children to enjoy!

Ja fürsüreyoubëtcha! Danke Swensk!!! Or something like that. After a few snorts of aquavit, it all sort of becomes the same word...

3:35:32 PM leave/read comments []

Dept. of Handicrafts

Not since my mom's "Adam and Eve" topless needlepoint have I seen such fine examples of needle-craft handiwork.

Rude cross-stitching.
Subversive Cross-stitch: rude and snarky cross-stitch patterns to amaze and delight.
Link
(via Making Light)
[Boing Boing Blog]

3:30:35 PM

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Dept. of Breaking ~~Wind~~ News

A picture named donkeysearch.jpg Missiles Fired From Donkey Carts in Central Baghdad. The Palestine and Sheraton hotels in central Baghdad were hit by a volley of five rockets fired from donkey carts. By John F. Burns. [New York Times: NYT HomePage]

In an imaginary press conference, National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice was not quoted as announcing, "Today we have confirmed, without a doubt, the presence in Iraq of Weapons of Ass Destruction. Much as we feared, Saddam loyalists waited until today to unleash these WAD's against coalition forces in an underhanded attack against the U.S. Hotel Industy in Baghdad."

President Bush, responding to questions shouted over the barricades at Andrews AFB, commented, "See?!?!? I told ya! They had them Weapons of Ass Destruction all this time!"

Briefly containing his glee, the President added, "I may just have to let Rummy get all new-cooler their asses, if you know what I mean. Hey! That's a joke, son! 'On their asses!' Get it?!? [nervous laughter] Asses!!!!"

The President then added, "Oh Lord, I slay myself."

1:23:10 PM leave/read comments []

Dept. of Turn Down The Thermostat

A picture named isschilly.jpg NASA criticizes planned ISS budget cut. NASA administrator Sean O'eefe criticized Friday Congressional plans to slice $200 million from the... [spacetoday.net]

Congress plans to cut $200 Million off NASA's budget, so it can what, send even more money to Iraq?

NASA administrator Sean O'eefe criticized Friday Congressional plans to slice $200 million from the 2004 budget for the International Space Station. O'Keefe, speaking Friday morning with reporters, said the planned cut will put a "severe crimp" in reserve funds for the project. The Senate passed an appropriations bill that cut $200 million from the ISS, citing reduced operations in the wake of the shuttle Columbia accident. O'Keefe said that current project reserves of $250 million would cover the cut, but that it left little room for error if other problems with the project arose.

A picture named donkeygap.jpg Sen. Ted Stevens [R-AK47], chair of the Senate Appropriations Committee was not quoted as saying, "If y'all want to spend money, why don't y'all spend it on figuring out how to launch rockets from a donkey cart?!? Them there Eye-Rackys can do that. Do we have a donkey launcher? Do we?!?! DO WE?!?! We can't have a Donkey Gap!!!! NO DONKEY GAPS!"

Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison [R- TaX and spend in Iraq] did not add, "You Democrats like them there donkeys don't you? Why, the very symbol of your party is A WEAPON OF TERRORISTS!!!!! {incomprehensible} Someone call Johnny Ashcroft, we got us some traitors here! {obscured by spittle} Phhpppt."

12:43:37 PM leave/read comments []

Here's a shot from inside the belly of the pizza beast.

11:27:56 AM

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