What The Hell Am I Doing Here?

  Saturday, January 3, 2004


Dept. of Hissy Fits

A picture named firexit.jpg Hampton Court Blogger Pulls Plug on blog

In what appears to be a spiteful fit, JohnB, the blogger who was investigating the Hampton Court Ghost, has taken down his blog, leaving only a photograph and a rant directed at "the media."

The study reported on here was concluded by the end of 2003 and written up by 1 January 2004. The media was invited, through a PR Agency - to discuss how the report of the study could be used by them. Though this invitation has been viewed by thousands in the media, there was no response. The report was therefore released at 7pm GMT 2 January to those who had contributed in some way to the weblog of the study and the offer to the media revoked.

The weblog is now closed.

I was thinking that this had been a serious inquiry, but this turn of events is making me think that JohnB was nothing but a publicity hound. Otherwise, why take down the blog?

If nothing else, it's a terrible disservice to his readers. Not all of us are "the media," after all. I guess if you aren't an employee of a newspaper, magazine or television news organization, JohnB doesn't give a flying fark about you.

It's especially spiteful since he promised to post his findings on the blog and then a day later, pulls the whole thing down. Makes you wonder if he's just a fraud, looking for some publicity.

UPDATE: JohnB emailed his report to me and it was, as promised, a thorough and skeptical inquiry. I'd like to publish his findings, but it's clear that he doesn't wish to share them with the public at this time.

He may be cranky, but he is no fraud. (January 5, 2003)

12:16:26 PM     leave/read comments []




  Friday, January 2, 2004


Random image from my files

A picture named tablechk.jpg I doodled on an L.A. table, 2001.

1:01:25 AM     leave/read comments []




  Thursday, January 1, 2004


Dept. of 360

One of the coolest QTVR's I've seen in a while has shown up over at boing boing- y'all gotta see this, it's just the sort of thing that makes you glad to be alive.

Countdown to NYE Times Square QTVR pano!. Happy New Year, everyone! Jim Galvin of "Virtual Tour of NYC" says:

Hi Xeni, Jook Leung who shot this QTVR of Times Square last year will be in TS again tonight and I anticipate that he will have another stunning QTVR completed and up on the web by 4 or 5 am. I don't have a URL yet but I'm sure that panoramas.dk will have it first.

Update: Leung does it again: a magnificent panorama of NYE*NYC*TS*04, with sound, right here (cropped thumbnail at left).
[Boing Boing Blog]

See? Told ya!

9:14:31 PM     leave/read comments []




Bling bling is over now that we are all using it. Terms such as "bling bling" should be banned because they are "overused, trite or just plain inaccurate", according to an internet poll. [Telegraph News | Front Page News]

Oh phooey. I was just getting the hang of integrating "bling bling" into my everyday speech.

"I'd love to come over for tea, but my bling bling is just so blindingly dazzling today and I'm afraid I can't see to drive fo at least ninety minizzle. Dog."

9:01:27 PM     leave/read comments []




Dept. of Sounds

A picture named progmag.jpg Ah, at last I once again have multi-track audio capabilities!

I'm still a bit in the dark about line levels and tweaking and latencies and whatnot, but at least I'm up and running. Now all I need is time to play and a few good ideas.

It ain't much and the input levels are all wack, but at least it works. (MP3 4.1M) I promise to do better as I go along.

8:22:54 PM     leave/read comments []




Dept. of Resolve

A picture named resolution.jpg My easy-to-do New Year's Resolutions:

  • brush my teeth
  • wake up, every single day
  • eat
  • poop
  • Call 1-718-387-6962 (They Might Be Giants' Dial-A-Song) today
  • sleep

I already feel superior.

update: I called the number listed on my CD of Apollo 18, and got a generic answering machine, not D-A-S. I left a message asking what happened to Dial-A-Song. So I found the number above on the web and called it. No answer. Sigh. Dammit, these were supposed to be EASY resolutions! Sure, I technically followed through on my resolution and called the number, but damn. I guess I'll just have to Dial-A-Song on the web....

2:12:33 PM     leave/read comments []




  Wednesday, December 31, 2003


Happy New Year, y'all!



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Dept. of Red Planet News

A picture named beaglecall.jpg The ESA's Beagle 2, currently of unknown disposition, is set to activate a distress beacon and is about to get some company.

Beagle to begin 'frequent calls'. Beagle 2 is due to begin automatic transmissions which could increase the chances of it being found. [BBC News | News Front Page | UK Edition]

Increasing those chances is a shift in the orbit of the ESA's Martian orbiter:

Mars Express adjusts orbit around planet. ESA's Mars Express spacecraft maneuvered into a polar orbit around the Red Planet on... [spacetoday.net]

Maybe we could have one of Beagle 2's new neighbors drop by and check on the old boy when they get there:

Spirit tweaks course for Mars. Spirit, one of NASA's twin Mars Exploration Rovers, adjusted its course late last week... [spacetoday.net]

3:00:47 PM     leave/read comments []




Dept. of Lists

A picture named toptensites.jpg 'Most influential' websites named. The sites that have had the most impact on how we see the net have been chosen by analysts. [BBC News | Technology | UK Edition]

Of those sites listed, I've visited half of them (Google, eBay, Amazon, Blogger and Napster), heard of two (M$ outlook and AOL) and have no idea about Easyjet, Friends Reunited or Kelkoo.

I'm surprised that the loved/feared/hated/embraced Friendster didn't make the list. It made a huge ripple through my group of online friends and seemed to gather a lot of ink about it being the Future Of The Internet®!

I'll try to contain my disappointment at mediawench.com not making the list.

2:47:14 PM     leave/read comments []




Dept. of Employment

A picture named jerkbox.jpg George W. Bush's Resume [from an email sent to my pal Andy Axel.]

George W. Bush's Resume

Past Work Experience

* Ran for U.S. Congress and lost. Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie. Bought an oil company that couldn't find any oil in Texas; the company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

* With father's help and name, elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments as Governor

* Changed pollution laws in favor of the power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America.

* Cut taxes and bankrupted Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

* Set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.

* Became U.S. President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes with the help of major Enron money and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as President

Firsts:

* First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. First president in U.S. history to have almost all 50 states of the Union simultaneously suffer massive financial crisis. First president in U.S. history to order a pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation, and did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community. First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Elections Monitoring Board. Withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. First president in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). First president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

Economic:

* Spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. Shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. Set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. Set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. Over 2-million Americans lost their jobs in my first year in office, and that trend continues every month. Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in history. Changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. Set an all-time record for the number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling their huge personal investments in corporations bidding for U.S. contracts. Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and have turned every single economic category downward -- all in less than two years.

Security & Foreign Policy

* Set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year period. After taking-off the entire month of August, then presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. Attacked and overtook two countries. Support development of a "Tactical Bunker Buster" nuke, a WMD. Getting our troops killed, under the lie of Saddam's procurement of Yellow Cake Nuke WMD components, then blaming the lie on our British friends. Cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time. Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history. Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" (detainees) and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. Garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most resented country in the world, possibly the largest failure of diplomacy in World history. Failed to fulfill my pledge to capture Osama Bin Laden, dead or alive. Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any president in U.S. history. Actively working on a policy of "disengagement" creating the most hostile of Israel-Palestine relations in at least 30 years. Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the U.S. Capitol Building. Even after 18 months I have no leads and no credible suspects. Successfully prevented public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

Political:

* Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. president. Appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in U.S. history. Set the record for least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television. Signed more laws and executive orders effectively amending or ignoring the Constitution than any president in history. Presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use national reserves as past presidents have done. Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. Made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history. Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in history. Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States. Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history. All-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history. In a little over two years, created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided since the Civil War.

Environmental:

Records and References:

* At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine. My Texas driving record has been erased and is not available.

* AWOL from the National Guard.

* Refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

* All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-president, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

~ Please consider my experience when voting in 2004. ~

1:45:32 PM     leave/read comments []




  Tuesday, December 30, 2003


A picture named hamptonghost.jpg

Update on the Hampton Court Ghost from JohnB, after examining the apartment where the ghost was taped:

Let me say that what I saw absolutely staggered me. By the time I left the Palace, I knew that I had all the evidence I could want to form and justify my conclusion.

Stay tuned! (Click photo at right for animation of images)

A GHOST ON VIDEO AT HAMPTON COURT PALACE?

11:57:42 PM     leave/read comments []




Dept. of Conflicting Signals

A picture named villian_av.jpg OK, in one story we have this:

Bush signals softer line on Iran. US makes dramatic shift in its attitude towards Iran, previously branded as part of an "axis of evil". [Guardian Unlimited]

But then, in another story, we have next-to-armageddon:

Hawks tell Bush how to win war on terror. President George W Bush was sent a public manifesto yesterday by Washington's hawks, demanding regime change in Syria and Iran and a Cuba-style military blockade of North Korea backed by planning for a pre-emptive strike on its nuclear sites. [Telegraph News | Front Page News]

I'd like to be optimistic that we aren't headed towards Total War: Now More Than Ever®, but foreign policy moderates have had about as much success in the Bush administration as the Red Sox have had in October.

11:30:39 PM     leave/read comments []




Dept. of No-Fly Zones

A picture named nocessnas.jpg Skies of Major U.S. Cities Off Limits for New Year's Eve. The skies of New York, Washington, D.C., Chicago, Las Vegas and Disney World will be patrolled by the military. By Kirk Semple. [New York Times: NYT HomePage]

So much for skydiving alongside the Times Square Light Ball......

Though the Federal Aviation Administration has not finalized the details of the temporary flight restrictions for New York and Las Vegas, a spokeswoman for the Department of Homeland Security said they would probably go into effect on Dec. 31 and extend through the morning of Jan. 1. Such bans are typically intended to restrict flights by small, private aircraft.

Oh well.

Though it is ironic that in the space of a year we went from Iraq having two No-Fly zones to the U.S. having several. This is progress?

8:38:17 PM     leave/read comments []




A picture named giftshop.jpg Got some Xmas money or Chanukah Gelt?

Spend it at the gift shop!

Oh! And be sure to check out The Bad Toad's Webshop! (You asked for it, you got it!)

8:30:53 PM     leave/read comments []




Dept. of Paranoia Will Destroya

A picture named ashcroft4.gif Beware of strangers carrying books, warns FBI. Maps too. [The Register]

Don't panic, but Almanacs are bad! Mostly.

The FBI has issued a terror warning to police to look out for individuals carrying almanacs or maps, reports AP.

The warning was sent to 18,000 officers before Christmas. Almanacs, warns the FBI, may be used "to assist with target selection and pre-operational planning." The Bureau acknowledges that there may be "legitimate recreational or commercial activities" that justify an individual carrying around a map or reference book.

Next week's terror alert:

FBI warns of "people with eyes"

The FBI announced today that it would be singling out those individuals "with eyes" for extra scrutiny, especially if such eyed individuals were seen at high-risk sites such as bridges, tall buildings and airports.

According to Attorney General John Ashcroft, "We have concluded that people with eyes present a substantial risk to Homeland See-curity®. These "people" can use these "eyes" for a variety of nefarious purposes, including, but not limited to:

  • Examining government budgets, policies and records
  • Looking at airplanes
  • Reading magazines, books and maps (which are already on our "threat list")
  • Throwing things
  • Giving "attitude"
'As you can see, or not as the case may be, these individuals with eyes represent a direct threat to our way of life. Thank you."

4:57:25 PM     leave/read comments []



Dept. of Brave New Wonders

A picture named kinkofedx.jpg FedEx to Buy Kinko's for $2.4 Billion. The deal will allow FedEx, the world's largest air-express carrier, to integrate its services in all 1,200 Kinko's stores. By Reuters. [New York Times: NYT HomePage]

At last! You can photocopy your ass and have it on the other side of the world by tomorrow!

2:07:35 PM     leave/read comments []




Speaking of MacWorld.......

Macworld events page goes live [The Macintosh News Network]

2:03:17 PM     leave/read comments []




iPod buyers singing the blues. The most popular high-tech toy this Christmas - the Apple iPod - is about to be usurped by a bargain priced mini version. [Telegraph News | Front Page News]

I bet Steve Jobs is fuming at the leak of this info.

I'd take it with a grain of salt, as rumors are thicker than Prince Charles right before MacWorld.

1:53:55 PM     leave/read comments []




Dept. of Filling Your Nappies

A picture named newyearbush.jpg

The Wizard of Whimsy presents Baby New Year 2004: More Greed in The New World.

11:42:27 AM     leave/read comments []




  Monday, December 29, 2003


Dept. of Warnings!

BoingBoing tips us off to a really NASTY PayPal scam:

New, sneaky, evil PayPal spoof.. Mike Outmesguine points us to yet another new riff on the classic PayPal scam (click thumbnail for full-size image):
I got this email that looks like it came from PayPal. Of course, I didn't believe it for a second. But I'm sure others would. Digging deeper, the URL redirects people to a site in China that uses the IE URL spoof to seem like it's sitting at paypal.com. Insidious! I reported this to Paypal and they confirmed it's a spoof site. Here's the breakdown:

1. URL included in the original email:
[url redacted- go to Boing Boing for URL]
2. jump-off site pp.youlikeshe.com
3. Actual site being loaded (remove spaces to activate): www . Epack . Ch/p/verify.htm
4. Spoofed to appear as www.paypal.com using the IE URL spoof vulnerability shown here:
[redacted]

Microsoft has not released a patch for this URL vulnerability. Now it seems there is a real-world attack, albeit only to Paypal members so far. Sneaky buggers!

Update/Correction: BoingBoing reader Fraser Cole in Ottowa says, "Hello, just a friendly note regarding the PayPal scam. I'm probably not the first to point out that the final destination site is in the .ch domain, which of course is Switzerland, not China. Maybe since they're in Europe they can be tracked down easier?" [Boing Boing Blog]


1:25:34 PM     leave/read comments []



  Sunday, December 28, 2003


Dept. of Regrets

A picture named wackojacko.jpg My suicide thoughts over porn - Townshend. Arts: Rock star Pete Townshend reveals today how he contemplated killing himself after he confessed to downloading child pornography. [Guardian Unlimited]

Pete, Pete, Pete.

'If I had had a gun, I would have shot myself,' he tells The Observer in an exclusive interview. 'And if I had shot myself, it would have been f*****g awful because it would have confirmed what everybody thought.'

Yes, but only if he'd shot himself in the face, thus making it easy to confuse him with infamous accused child and face molester, Michael Jackson.

12:41:16 PM     leave/read comments []




Dept. of Amusements

A picture named dialasong.jpg OK, I'm probably the last person to know this, but TMBG's Dial-A-Song is on the web!

Dial-A-Song

Imagine the money you'll save!

1:24:55 AM     leave/read comments []